I hate how I'm so vulnerable to my family's words. Really, I do. I was helping my mom prepare supper. We wound up discussing me searching for a job, and college. That inevitably led to talk of university.
At which point I was criticised for wanting to major in East Asian studies. That hurt -like I was a dropped-kicked squirrel. (Sorry for the misplaced and/or pathetic attempt at humor. It's a trigger mechanism.) If I take said course as my major, I'm required to learn two languages, and my drugs of choice are Korean and Japanese. I believe I mentioned this is another post.
My mom kind of lectured me, saying that I should probably only just learn one, or, if I'm determined to study two, then one should be Chinese. I will formally study Chinese later on, but, not offense to anyone, Japanese and Korean interest me more. Anyway, Mom continued until she reached her main point: what are you going to do with it? It's useless. You're making a mistake. You probably don't know what you're doing.
I'm not feeling very good about myself (and just when I was happy talking with my aunt earlier). The thing is, I do have an idea of what I want to do. Mom probably won't like hearing it however because it involves me living on the other side of the world. She has no problem with me going on an exchange program to Asia, but I suspect that's because there's a guarantee that I'll return.
Furthermore, this is not a lost cause. I plan to do a double major in, yes, East Asian studies, but also in Communications. With perhaps a minor in English, Philosophy, or something of the like. I am not doomed to fail.
I admit, this is a pipe dream, but I'm trying my hardest to make it reality. I find it rather frustrating that my parents say it's fine to be unsure of my future, or to do as I please, yet if my aspirations don't meet their standards, they shoot it down. I know they want the best for me, and that my life isn't needlessly unfair or difficult. In a way, they're trying to protect me; I'm still their little girl. I understand that. But at the same time, I really want to take this chance. If my dream, it changes, and I will accomodate that change. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I would really appreciate support rather than protective criticism.